Teething

Teething. Everyone goes through it. Fortunately, we don't remember our experience with it. But you know what we do remember? Our kids' experience with it. By the way my son acts, it is probably a good thing we don't remember it.

Why it sucks for baby: it hurts. There is absolutely no denying that. I mean, think about it... better yet bite yourself as hard as you can. It hurts right? Now imagine that coming from underneath your skin. Ouch right? The worst part would be not knowing what's going on. One day you're sitting there as happy as a clam, the next, holy crap my mouth hurts! Not being able to express that you are in pain, you get frustrated on top of everything. So now you're mad and in pain, so what do you do? You cry of course! Your mom picks you up and checks your temperature, and of course you're too little for it to be checked orally, so now you have to deal with a thermometer up your butt, which only makes you more ticked off. Once that's over, now mom has to force feed you some nasty liquid. Once you choke that down things get a little better, and you can go to sleep, but wake up and the pain is back again. It's a seemingly never ending cycle. Then finally the thing that has been sawing your jaw pops through. You get some relief! Yay! But then whoops! You bite yourself. Ouch. Then there is another saw and it starts all over again. Life is hard and painful.

Why it sucks for mom: you have a perfect baby. He is happy all the time, sleeps well, takes long naps, plays on his own, eats well, and never cries in public. All of a sudden it's like a little demon possesses his body and makes your life a living hell. Now he is crying all the time, drooling like hooch, (if you don't know who hooch is, look up the Tom Hanks movie Turner and Hooch. Very funny movie) has gotten super clingy, and makes you that parent in the grocery store dragging a screaming child through the store. Naps almost completely disappear, which makes him over tired and even crankier, and because his mouth hurts, he stops eating well (especially if he's breastfeeding) and you hit freak out mode because you're afraid he's going to starve. The house becomes a mess because you'd rather hold him ad not get anything done rather than try to do it all with a headache the size of an elephant, but end up with a headache anyway because you have to put him down to pee. Nothing makes him happy. He lives on Tylenol. I heard once that if we were to teeth as adults, that we would need morphine to deal with it...and all a baby gets is Tylenol. (You'd think the medical field would quit wasting money on things like weight loss pills and start figuring out how to make a stronger pain killer that is compatible with a baby's body. I guarantee parents would pay out of the nose for something like that! I know I would!) Giving him so much Tylenol makes you think, am I going to damage his liver? Am I giving him too much/not enough? All you want is for the teeth to cut through already so you can live a semi normal life again. Guess what? You're in for the long haul. Teething lasts for up to 2.5 years. Yep, that means you get to deal with terrible twos and the worst teething, when molars come in. The two are most likely connected.... or god has a laugh while watching us deal with our little demons. Kind of like our parents do.

In short, teething sucks for everyone involved. Its painful for everyone involved, whether it be your mouth or head. Fortunately, its only temporary. Ironically, most people want/ have a second kid after all of this. Which can only mean one thing... all parents are certifiably insane and glutton for punishment. After all, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.