Discipline

Ok. Lately I have seen a lot of posts on Facebook of kids standing on a busy street, holding up a sign saying what they did wrong. There has been a lot of debate on this style of parenting. Some people say "way to go" others say "horrible parenting." I personally think that these parents are doing something right. People these days are so afraid that their kids will hate them that there is no discipline. The parents would rather be their kids' friends rather than their parent. I am not like this. I am not afraid to be a mean mom. I had a mean mom and I have respect for my elders, have not gotten in trouble at school or with the law and I believe myself to be a genuinely good person. Something people tend to forget is that not all children can be disciplined the same way, even within one family. Every child is different and short of neglect or actual abuse, (I mean leaving bruises and cuts, not just a couple of swats on the butt) there is no wrong style of parenting. But you HAVE to be a PARENT not a FRIEND.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to have a friendly relationship with your child, but that cannot get in the way of you letting your child know that they have done something wrong. You can't be afraid of hurting your kids feelings. Trust me, as my mother used to say, they can get glad in the same pants they get mad in. In other words, they're going to get mad when you tell them no, but they will get over it. If I had a dollar for every time my parents told me no and it ticked me off, I'd be a millionaire. Guess what? I got over it. Guess what else? I don't hate my parents! Gasp!! I told them numerous times that I did, but what teenager doesn't?

The way I see it, if my kids don't tell me at some point in their lives that they hate me, I am doing something wrong. My kids will hear the word no a lot. No you can't go to that unsupervised party. No you can't have ice cream/ cookies/chocolate etc before dinner. No you cannot stay out past curfew. No you may not go out tonight. No you may not spend the night at a friend's house on a school night. The list of no's grows and grows. Your kids want discipline, naturally they crave it. They wouldn't call it that, but by giving them discipline, you are giving them the attention that they need and crave, and you are molding them into a productive member of society.

Back to the topic of the kids holding signs. One in particular sticks out in my mind. A little boy is standing by the road with a sign that says "I bullied another kid at school and should be ashamed of myself." I saw a lot of comments that talked about how this was bullying and it wouldn't solve the problem. I say it's not and that it is the perfect way to solve this particular issue. This kid humiliated another child for his amusement. I believe by making him stand with that sign he felt similar humiliation, and that will not only make him think twice about doing it again, but will teach him compassion. He now knows what it is to be publicly humiliated and he knows that if he does it again, his mother will make him stand out there again. There are far too many stories on the news these days of kids committing suicide or bringing a gun to school because they have finally had enough of the bullying. Too many parents are using the cop out of "kids will be kids." This is not an excuse. If you find yourself saying kids will be kids after finding out that your child has been bullying someone, you need more discipline in your home. Taking privileges is a good way to discipline a child if you don't want to use the shaming route. Personally I would do both. I do not want some kids suicide on my son's conscience.

Discipline is pivotal to molding a child into a functional member of society. Make your kids mad. I promise they will get over it. Don't be afraid to be a "mean" parent because in the end, when you are done with your kids the rest of the world has to deal with them, and nobody likes dealing with a jackass.