Teething

Teething. Everyone goes through it. Fortunately, we don't remember our experience with it. But you know what we do remember? Our kids' experience with it. By the way my son acts, it is probably a good thing we don't remember it.

Why it sucks for baby: it hurts. There is absolutely no denying that. I mean, think about it... better yet bite yourself as hard as you can. It hurts right? Now imagine that coming from underneath your skin. Ouch right? The worst part would be not knowing what's going on. One day you're sitting there as happy as a clam, the next, holy crap my mouth hurts! Not being able to express that you are in pain, you get frustrated on top of everything. So now you're mad and in pain, so what do you do? You cry of course! Your mom picks you up and checks your temperature, and of course you're too little for it to be checked orally, so now you have to deal with a thermometer up your butt, which only makes you more ticked off. Once that's over, now mom has to force feed you some nasty liquid. Once you choke that down things get a little better, and you can go to sleep, but wake up and the pain is back again. It's a seemingly never ending cycle. Then finally the thing that has been sawing your jaw pops through. You get some relief! Yay! But then whoops! You bite yourself. Ouch. Then there is another saw and it starts all over again. Life is hard and painful.

Why it sucks for mom: you have a perfect baby. He is happy all the time, sleeps well, takes long naps, plays on his own, eats well, and never cries in public. All of a sudden it's like a little demon possesses his body and makes your life a living hell. Now he is crying all the time, drooling like hooch, (if you don't know who hooch is, look up the Tom Hanks movie Turner and Hooch. Very funny movie) has gotten super clingy, and makes you that parent in the grocery store dragging a screaming child through the store. Naps almost completely disappear, which makes him over tired and even crankier, and because his mouth hurts, he stops eating well (especially if he's breastfeeding) and you hit freak out mode because you're afraid he's going to starve. The house becomes a mess because you'd rather hold him ad not get anything done rather than try to do it all with a headache the size of an elephant, but end up with a headache anyway because you have to put him down to pee. Nothing makes him happy. He lives on Tylenol. I heard once that if we were to teeth as adults, that we would need morphine to deal with it...and all a baby gets is Tylenol. (You'd think the medical field would quit wasting money on things like weight loss pills and start figuring out how to make a stronger pain killer that is compatible with a baby's body. I guarantee parents would pay out of the nose for something like that! I know I would!) Giving him so much Tylenol makes you think, am I going to damage his liver? Am I giving him too much/not enough? All you want is for the teeth to cut through already so you can live a semi normal life again. Guess what? You're in for the long haul. Teething lasts for up to 2.5 years. Yep, that means you get to deal with terrible twos and the worst teething, when molars come in. The two are most likely connected.... or god has a laugh while watching us deal with our little demons. Kind of like our parents do.

In short, teething sucks for everyone involved. Its painful for everyone involved, whether it be your mouth or head. Fortunately, its only temporary. Ironically, most people want/ have a second kid after all of this. Which can only mean one thing... all parents are certifiably insane and glutton for punishment. After all, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.

Discipline

Ok. Lately I have seen a lot of posts on Facebook of kids standing on a busy street, holding up a sign saying what they did wrong. There has been a lot of debate on this style of parenting. Some people say "way to go" others say "horrible parenting." I personally think that these parents are doing something right. People these days are so afraid that their kids will hate them that there is no discipline. The parents would rather be their kids' friends rather than their parent. I am not like this. I am not afraid to be a mean mom. I had a mean mom and I have respect for my elders, have not gotten in trouble at school or with the law and I believe myself to be a genuinely good person. Something people tend to forget is that not all children can be disciplined the same way, even within one family. Every child is different and short of neglect or actual abuse, (I mean leaving bruises and cuts, not just a couple of swats on the butt) there is no wrong style of parenting. But you HAVE to be a PARENT not a FRIEND.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to have a friendly relationship with your child, but that cannot get in the way of you letting your child know that they have done something wrong. You can't be afraid of hurting your kids feelings. Trust me, as my mother used to say, they can get glad in the same pants they get mad in. In other words, they're going to get mad when you tell them no, but they will get over it. If I had a dollar for every time my parents told me no and it ticked me off, I'd be a millionaire. Guess what? I got over it. Guess what else? I don't hate my parents! Gasp!! I told them numerous times that I did, but what teenager doesn't?

The way I see it, if my kids don't tell me at some point in their lives that they hate me, I am doing something wrong. My kids will hear the word no a lot. No you can't go to that unsupervised party. No you can't have ice cream/ cookies/chocolate etc before dinner. No you cannot stay out past curfew. No you may not go out tonight. No you may not spend the night at a friend's house on a school night. The list of no's grows and grows. Your kids want discipline, naturally they crave it. They wouldn't call it that, but by giving them discipline, you are giving them the attention that they need and crave, and you are molding them into a productive member of society.

Back to the topic of the kids holding signs. One in particular sticks out in my mind. A little boy is standing by the road with a sign that says "I bullied another kid at school and should be ashamed of myself." I saw a lot of comments that talked about how this was bullying and it wouldn't solve the problem. I say it's not and that it is the perfect way to solve this particular issue. This kid humiliated another child for his amusement. I believe by making him stand with that sign he felt similar humiliation, and that will not only make him think twice about doing it again, but will teach him compassion. He now knows what it is to be publicly humiliated and he knows that if he does it again, his mother will make him stand out there again. There are far too many stories on the news these days of kids committing suicide or bringing a gun to school because they have finally had enough of the bullying. Too many parents are using the cop out of "kids will be kids." This is not an excuse. If you find yourself saying kids will be kids after finding out that your child has been bullying someone, you need more discipline in your home. Taking privileges is a good way to discipline a child if you don't want to use the shaming route. Personally I would do both. I do not want some kids suicide on my son's conscience.

Discipline is pivotal to molding a child into a functional member of society. Make your kids mad. I promise they will get over it. Don't be afraid to be a "mean" parent because in the end, when you are done with your kids the rest of the world has to deal with them, and nobody likes dealing with a jackass.

Funny faces and sounds

Have you ever just sat there and watched your child learn to use their facial muscles? It can be quite amusing. My son makes some faces that make me laugh, shake my head and ask, what are you doing you little weirdo? Yes, I call my son a weirdo sometimes, but I pride myself on being a bit of a weirdo and being married to one too. It's really funny when I make a funny face at him and he tries to imitate it. Nine times out of ten, he makes a completely different face from the one I made. I think my favorite though, is when he has a round toy shoved in his mouth. I find this hilarious because my twisted mind immediately goes to Batman. Want to know how I got these scars? Biting on a toy. My dad said I should put a smile on my face. (Like I said, I'm a weirdo) What makes the funny faces complete is some of the noises he makes to accompany those faces. Lately, he has this half hiss/half growl thing that he does and he looks absolutely insane when he is really excited and making the noise. He gets this crazy happy look on his face and this creepy old man grin, squeals, and then makes the noise. It's creepy, but in a cute way... kind of like the gremlins. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, you're too young. Just saying.) I'm pretty sure he is trying to imitate either my gizmo sound or possibly the sound my grandmother makes when a baby has a poopy diaper. Maybe a combination of the two. Whatever it is, I hope it doesn't stop any time soon, as I find it hilarious. I am doing my best to appreciate little moments like this because they don't last forever. I may complain sometimes but I really am appreciating this time learning and growing with him. I see so many moms who either didn't take the time to spend these moments with their children for whatever reason and regret it or never had the opportunity due to losing their little ones and it just makes me hold my little man a little tighter. I am more and more grateful each day for him. So mamas.... enjoy your little ones while they are still little. Use them as an opportunity to relive your childhood. Play with them, imagine with them, make funny faces and sounds with them, give them a better childhood than you had. They so deserve it and it can be fun for us as well.

Best inventions ever for baby

There are things that a baby needs in order to live. Breast milk/formula, diapers, baby food, you know, the basics. But there are some inventions meant for baby that mom cannot live without. I will go through each and explain why, if you have a baby or are about to have a baby, you need these items.

Let's start with drop in bottles for the pumping/formula feeding moms. These things are amazing. You buy a couple of these bottles and plenty of nipples and the disposable drop in bags. Switch out the nipples and you can use these bottles for days! The liner holder and ring need to be washed, but not nearly as often as a regular bottle does, and it makes life so much easier on the road. Just put your liners in your diaper bag along with a liner holder and a few nipples and you have a fresh, clean bottle each time you feed your child!

For the breastfeeding mother, a boppy is your best friend. For those of you who don't know what it is, it's a u shaped pillow that wraps around your waist so you can place the baby on it and not kill your back while trying to feed him. If you have ever tried to breastfeed without a pillow of any kind you know how much it can kill your arms and back. This is also convenient for supported sitting. You can place the baby in the concave portion of the pillow and bam. Instant support. In short, this is even good for moms that don't breastfeed.

Exersaucers/jumpers: aka mommy needs a break and you need to be distracted. I love my son's jumper. Before I got my jumper, I couldn't even go to the bathroom without my son throwing a fit. So I'm sitting on the toilet trying to convince my son that he is not going to die in the two minutes it takes me to use the bathroom. Since I got the jumper, I can put him in it and he will jump and squeal until he wears himself out and I can put him down for a nap. Which means I get an even longer break and can get things done in peace. If you don't have one, get one.

Slip on diapers. Oh. My. God. Whoever invented these things is a freaking genius! For those of you who have experience trying to change a child that can roll and crawl, you know the frustration of a child who will not sit still so you can put the diaper back on. I never seem to have an issue getting the diaper off but the second I try to put it on, its time to play... or throw a fit. Either way, it doesn't make for easy diaper changing. These diapers allow me to put them around his ankles, and then stand him up so the little monster can't get away from me. This makes my life so much easier.

Strollers. Yes they are big and a pain to get in and out of a car, but when you are walking through the store, you don't have to worry about him chewing on the nasty grocery cart handle, or falling out of the basket because they are standing up and leaning over. You may even get lucky and have them fall asleep while you're doing your shopping so you don't have to be "that" parent dragging their screaming child through the store. Its a win win.

Baby leashes. I don't care what anyone says about them. They are not cruel. Fact of the matter is that every child has wandered away from their parents in the store and gotten lost. Many kids get snatched at stores and such. If you have a baby leash, you don't have to worry about either. He can't wander away from you because he only has so far he can go. He can't get snatched because you will feel the tug at the end of the leash if you happen to not be looking at the moment. To me, a baby leash is the safest way to go and when my son starts walking, I will be investing in one.

Baby food in pouches. Again... must have been a genius that invented this. Feeding out of a jar or bowl isn't too bad, but the pouch is awesome on the go. It is so much easier to just squeeze a little bit of baby food into their mouth when you're in the car or not exactly in a position to do a full out feeding. Also, they close back up. That is awesome.

Keys. As long as you have a set of keys with you, you have a baby toy. Babies are so easily entertained by shiny things, noisy things, and things they can put in their mouth. Keys cover all of these areas and when do you ever go anywhere without your keys? It works out.

A pack and play. Need to go somewhere for a weekend and have to stay in a hotel that doesn't provide cribs? Let's be honest, who would want to use a hotel crib anyway? Just take your pack and play with you. It's not called a portable crib for nothing. Then you have a familiar place for your baby to sleep and don't have to worry about germs from whatever potentially sick baby laid in it. Again, its a win win.

These are just a few of the many many things you can't live without as a mom. More will be posted as I experience them :)

When I knew I was in trouble

When I found out I was pregnant, I couldn't have been happier, but unbeknownst to me, it was the first sign that I was in trouble. I guess you could say I kind of knew from the beginning that I was pregnant, because I had a gut feeling that something was up, so I picked up a pregnancy test. When that came up negative, I thought, Ok maybe I'm just exhausted because I'm switching back to day shift. Fast forward a week and I realized I was a few days late for my period. Ok. I'll pick up another test. Four more tests later, still negative. What the heck is going on? Almost two weeks late and I come home with a twix candy bar for me and some other candy bar for my husband. Bite into the twix and YUCK! immediately spit it back out. Ok. Something is definitely up! Time to call the doctor. I explain to the doctor that I am two weeks late, but every home test I've taken has come up negative, but I either have to be pregnant or dying. (Just kidding about the dying part... although with as exhausted as I was, it wasn't that far off) I got a blood test done and finally got a positive. This should have been the first indication that I would have a strong willed child.

Fast forward to October 19th. My first doctors appointment. (South Dakota doctors are so weird. They won't even see you until you're 8 weeks pregnant.) I go in so excited because today I get to hear my baby's heartbeat! Or not. The doctor says that she's just going run some tests that require her to drain me of about six vials of blood (as if I wasn't exhausted enough) and stick me with a needle full of the dead influenza virus. Awesome.

Fast forward a month. I get to the doctor and step on the scale. Instead of gaining weight like a normal pregnant woman, I have lost ten pounds. Figures that when I'm supposed to be gaining weight, I lose it but when I'm trying to lose weight, I gain. I guess I've always been a little backwards. Finally I get to go back and hear my baby's heartbeat. I record it to send to my family on the other side of the country.

Fast forward to December 17th. It is finally time for my first ultrasound! I will be able to find out if my baby is a boy or girl! I go into the appointment and find out that my afp test (one of the ones that required blood) came back a little high, which meant that there was a chance of spina bifida, but they couldn't tell me, I'd have to go to a specialist. Here comes the ftm worry. The ultrasound technician comes in finally after about 30 minutes. He then spends an hour trying to pin my child so that he can get measurements. The baby is not cooperating... uh oh. I'm in trouble. Yep. This was that moment. My child was being stubborn in utero. Little did I know this was just the beginning. After an hour I start to get impatient. Just tell me the sex of the baby already! Finally I hear him say, I'm not sure of that's an umbilical cord or if it's a turtle. Let me see if I can get a better view. I'm thinking oh its probably the umbilical cord. I'm almost positive its a gi..... that's definitely a turtle! It's a boy! Wait what? A boy? Hubby is over in the corner doing a happy dance. A boy... oh boy... I'm really in trouble!

Fast forward. My big pregnant butt moved back to North Carolina. South Dakota is way too cold for this beach bunny. Which means all new doctors that want to poke me with needles. It also means I finally get to go see that specialist. First visit to the regular doctor. They check the heartbeat. My son decides that he doesn't want to be checked and kicks the Doppler so hard it surprised the doctor. Then I get this comment for the first and definitely not the last time, you've got a strong and opinionated little man there! Good luck with that one! Crap. I really am in trouble. We go to the specialist and once again my son needs to be pinned so they can get a good look. He looks just like his daddy. Good news, no spina bifida. Bad news, I was classified technical high risk. I have to go back once a month.

Fast forward two months. My son is now determined that my ribs belong on the other side of the room. Can you say ouch? But his growth is on track, so we are released from the specialist! Yay!

Fast forward to May 16th. I go to the hospital at 8 pm. Labor can't decide whether it wants to start or not, so they start trying to help me dilate. Active labor starts at 12:00 am on Friday the 17th with the help of pitocin. At 8:30 am on Saturday May 18th, I finally gave in and got an epidural having been given the option to either have it so I could rest and push or have a c section. Stubborn child, get out of my body. Mom has to leave. I've been at 5 cm dilation for 6 hours or so with no sign of progressing. I close my eyes to rest. Wake up, there is a strange pressure. I have the doctor check. Wow. Within a space of a few hours, I have gone from 5 cm to 9. Hubby go call mom now! I'm surprised cops weren't following her. The nurses keep telling me to stop pushing and wait for the doctor... I'm not doing anything! Mom gets back. At 1:52 pm I welcome my son into the world. They hand him to me and he poops on me. I guess I got broken in early. I have him for a few minutes and then they take him to clean, weigh and measure him. The nurse is holding him up with her hand under his chest. He arches his back and holds himself rigid for 30 full seconds. Not even an hour old. Nurse turns around and says YOU ARE IN TROUBLE WITH THIS ONE. Ok.... time to start a blog.